Tales from the Resolver Crypt

29/10/2017 It’s almost All Hallow’s Eve, so today’s column is devoted to consumer nightmares and money horror stories and…

…not really. Tempting as it is to use the spooky season to crowbar in some consumer tips, I’ve resisted the urge. Instead, here’s a few dark Halloween tales from the Resolver vaults…

That’s no treat! The interweb is full of stories about all kinds of nasty things left in trick-or-treat candy, from razor blades to ecstasy tablets. They’re all pretty much fake (though it pays to check best-before dates!) But there are plenty of real-life horror stories to be found in snacks and treats. We’ve heard of nuts and bolts in chocolate bars and a dried mouse in granola. Though anyone who gives trick-or-treaters granola is asking for it, frankly.

Fear of flying

Despite extensive research, we’ve been unable to come up with any ‘Final Destination’ scenarios that have arisen as a result of air disaster premonitions. But there are loads of stories from people who’ve avoided planes that have subsequently gone on to experience problems – including one woman who dodged a flight after dreaming an engine would fall off (it did). Note: airlines don’t refund you for premonitions – even if they do come true.

Werewolves, vampires, ghosts and zombies

We all know the rules. When monsters attack, 1: RUN. 2: Not towards them 3: Don’t drop your weapon 4: Don’t choose that moment to go naked skinny dipping. However, if you survive, nothing beats the smugness of knowing you’ve insured yourself against such an attack happening. And indeed, you can insure against all these things and more – even Lloyds of London will oblige. Claiming might be tricky, mind you.

…and, of course, Resolver will continue to help you, should you need to make a complaint in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Well… for as long as the power lasts… *cackles*