Letter of Wishes: What it is, why it matters and how to write yours

You probably don’t like thinking about the worst happening, but planning ahead is one of the most important things you can do for the people you care about. If something unexpected happens, making sure your loved ones understand your wishes can make an incredibly difficult time a little easier.

While your will sets out how your estate should be dealt with, it can’t always explain the reasons behind your decisions or cover every personal request. That’s where a letter of wishes can help.

A letter of wishes gives you the opportunity to explain your decisions, provide guidance for your executors and trustees, and leave personal instructions that don’t belong in your will. Although it isn’t usually legally binding, it can offer valuable clarity and reassurance for the people responsible for carrying out your wishes.

What is a letter of wishes?

A letter of wishes is a document that sits alongside your will and provides additional information for the people responsible for administering your estate. Unlike your will, it isn’t usually legally binding, which means you can use it to explain your thinking, provide guidance and include personal requests that wouldn’t normally appear in a legal document.

Think of it as a companion to your will. Your will sets out the legal instructions, while your letter of wishes helps explain the reasoning behind them. Because it doesn’t form part of your will, you can usually update your letter whenever your circumstances change without having to rewrite your will.

Why should you write a letter of wishes?

Your will tells your executors what should happen to your estate. Your letter of wishes helps them understand how you would like those decisions to be carried out.

For example, you may want to explain why you’ve left different amounts to certain beneficiaries, provide guidance to trustees looking after money for children, or share your wishes for sentimental possessions that don’t necessarily have significant financial value.

By providing additional context, you can make it easier for your loved ones to understand your decisions and reduce the risk of misunderstandings or disagreements after you’re gone.

What can you include in a letter of wishes?

There’s no set format, so your letter should reflect your own circumstances. You can include as much or as little detail as you think will be helpful.

Many people use their letter of wishes to:

Explain decisions made in their will.
Give guidance to trustees managing a trust.
Set out funeral preferences.
Say who they would like to receive sentimental belongings.
Leave personal messages for family and friends.

Because the letter isn’t legally binding, it gives you the freedom to express your wishes in a more personal way than a formal will allows.

Explaining your decisions

If you’ve made decisions that family members may not expect, a letter of wishes allows you to explain your reasoning. For example, you may have chosen to leave a larger share of your estate to one child because you’ve already helped another financially during your lifetime. You might also want to explain why you’ve made gifts to friends or charities, or why you’ve chosen not to leave part of your estate to someone.

You don’t have to justify your decisions, but providing some context can help your loved ones better understand your intentions.

Providing guidance for trustees

If you’ve created a trust, your trustees may need to make important decisions long after you’ve gone. A letter of wishes allows you to explain how you hope they’ll exercise their discretion. You might ask them to prioritise education costs for your grandchildren, consider a beneficiary’s financial circumstances before releasing money, or delay larger payments until someone reaches a level of maturity you feel comfortable with.

Although trustees aren’t legally required to follow your guidance, they’ll often take it into account when making decisions.

Including funeral wishes

Many people choose to record their funeral preferences in a letter of wishes rather than in their will. This might include whether you would prefer to be buried or cremated, any religious or cultural traditions you’d like to be followed, or the music and readings you’d like at your service.

It’s worth remembering that your will isn’t always read immediately after your death, so if your funeral wishes are particularly important, make sure your loved ones know where your letter is kept.

Personal belongings and family keepsakes

Not every possession is valuable in financial terms, but many hold enormous sentimental value. Your letter of wishes can explain who you would like to receive jewellery, family photographs, heirlooms or other treasured possessions. This can make it easier for your executors to distribute personal belongings in a way that reflects your wishes, even if those items aren’t specifically mentioned in your will.

Is a letter of wishes legally binding?

A letter of wishes doesn’t have the same legal status as your will. Instead, it provides guidance to your executors and trustees when they’re administering your estate or managing any trusts you’ve established. If there’s ever a conflict between your will and your letter of wishes, your will will take priority.

Can you change a letter of wishes?

Yes. One of the biggest advantages of a letter of wishes is that it’s easy to update. As your circumstances change, you can review your letter and amend it without going through the formal process of rewriting your will. This makes it particularly useful if your family situation, finances or personal wishes are likely to change over time.

Whenever you make changes, date the latest version and store it with your will so your executors know which version reflects your current wishes.

Where should you keep your letter of wishes?

Your letter should be stored safely alongside your will, whether that’s with your solicitor, your will-writing provider or in secure storage at home. Most importantly, make sure your executors know the letter exists and where they can find it. A carefully written letter won’t be much use if nobody knows it’s there.

Letter of wishes vs will: What’s the difference?

Although they’re closely linked, your will and your letter of wishes serve different purposes. Your will is a legal document that sets out how your estate should be distributed after your death. A letter of wishes isn’t usually legally binding. Instead, it provides additional guidance, explains your thinking and helps your executors and trustees make decisions in line with your intentions.

Using both documents together gives you the opportunity to deal with the legal aspects of your estate while also leaving the personal guidance that a will can’t always provide. No one likes to think about the unexpected, but taking the time to write a letter of wishes can make a real difference for the people you leave behind.

While your will provides the legal instructions, your letter of wishes gives your loved ones the context, guidance and reassurance that those legal documents can’t always capture. Whether you’re explaining your decisions, sharing your funeral preferences or leaving personal messages for your family, it’s a simple way to help ensure your wishes are understood when they matter most.

If you have any thoughts on this topic, or any other consumer issues you would like us to cover, feel free to get in touch with us at support@resolver.co.uk.